Consequences

Allowing consequences to direct your action is an interesting thought. How can you know the consequences of your actions before the consequences have arrived? I've struggled with this a long time: Choosing a goal, and then working towards the goal. I'm focusing on failures right now because I don't seem to be getting any place real with anybody! I try to calm myself by saying the reason I've seen so little major developments come to fruition is because the course towards my goal is a long one, equal in magnitude to the loftiness of my goal. My goals tend to resonate with my dreams. I would love to become financially independent. How should I reach this goal? Financial independence is the consequence of which action? The first word that comes to mind is discipline, the second is frugality. I would love to be free from financial worries. I would use my money to create a rock concert. I would spread a message of understanding. Would I? I don't know, I feel so hopeless and doubtful. It's times like these I really feel like I would benefit from having someone who loved me unconditionally. It seems so hard to even consider the actions required to experience such a consequence. My self-esteem feels fragile and brittle in light of such types of situations. It really is a vicious cycle. If I were wealthy, I suspect I would have more confidence. Being poor, I'm confident that should another love me, it would be out of genuine affection for who I am, and not so much my material worth. Falling in love after getting rich may cause doubts of loyalty. Anyway, I'm not sure what the real issue is, I'll have to refocus.

Let's try to better understand the problem. I am faced with obstacles. My objective is to find a companion and then become financially independent. In that order, to eliminate the impact of a superficial attraction on loyalty. I would like to be with someone I can trust, respect, and honor. Now, how do I find this person? Is it reasonable to hold on financial independence before I find her? I don't think that it is?

The question is: Why am I still single? It's easy to say that I'm undesirable because of my financial situation.

Another question might be: Why am I poor? The answer here could be that I am waiting to find someone who wants me for me before I make my fortune.

The true fortune is in love. I value companionship more than any other treasure on Earth. Right now it's all I want.