I've returned to the realm of online journaling, most commonly referred to as blogging. I'm quite impressed and regretfully envious of the quality posts some bloggers make. I feel as though my stream of consciousness entries are hardly worth the time I spend making them.
They are, however. They must be. I see great value in the posts of others. Somehow the value in my posts has gone with little notice. Perhaps the value of my private is just that, private. Deep, passionate emotions tend to leave people feeling moved.
So then to what gain do I post? For the sole purpose of writing? To explore the contents of my consciousness? Dare I promote my blog for the sake of receiving feedback?
I do feel as though feedback is essential, and seeing how much feedback other bloggers receive has left me feeling inadequate. I've adjusted, accepted the place of my blog and am prepared to continue working on this project, the scope of which is yet scarcely fathomable.
Lets say, for arguments sake, the point of a blog is to earn. I see my challenge, then, as relating through this blog in such a way as to create value, by developing a discourse around my pass-times. Right now I feel as though I am sublimating frustrations. Where is the value in that?
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
NSCAD
I heard back from NSCAD yesterday. They have my application but it's missing three things: 1. a portfolio, 2. an admission essay, and 3. my 50$ application fee.
GAH!
Not a problem. I whipped up a 1200 word essay right after I replied to the email. I can probably send the 50$ electronically by adding the school as a payee. What about the portfolio? IT makes me a bit nervous to think too hard about it.
I do have some examples of my work, small exercises mostly, in crafting jewlery, some drawings, charcoal, mixed media, technical work, colouring crayons... What I really don't have is any large scale projects I've commited too (except of course my music stuff which doesn't really count).
So where are all the BIG drawings? The ELABORATE works and PRICELESS paintings? One of three places: 1. They were given to someone as a gift, 2. They were stolen, or 3. I destroyed them with fire.
True story, that's where it all is. The cool part is that I feel like I've been given permission to spend more time on my visual art. I poured out my bead work and started downloading reference images to assist in a drawing for a stage costume I had in mind. I have some sculpting clay and had always wanted to try and make an action figure with it.
I have a little bit of digital work, nothing too fantastic, animation exercises, some of which I could put a bit more work into. That basically breaks my portfolio into about four sections: line/coloured drawings/paintings, sculpture/jewelry, digital work/design/animation, oh and I guess photography.
*sigh* oh photography, how I wish I still had some examples of my photography, or better yet, a camera to work with. Maybe I'll pick up a disposable and snap some shots that demonstrate my ability to evaluate composition.
It should make for an interesting slide show, I could even set some original music in the background, but if they're looking for slides of a 60 hour painting, I have a lot of work to do.
Not that I mind, when I'm working on art I experience a creative flow and can work on it uninterupted for hours. Now that my science degree is behind me I'm almost free to work uninterupted. The only other thing that's eating me up is work! Which I have to get ready for now. GAH!
I'm really really really excited. :-D
GAH!
Not a problem. I whipped up a 1200 word essay right after I replied to the email. I can probably send the 50$ electronically by adding the school as a payee. What about the portfolio? IT makes me a bit nervous to think too hard about it.
I do have some examples of my work, small exercises mostly, in crafting jewlery, some drawings, charcoal, mixed media, technical work, colouring crayons... What I really don't have is any large scale projects I've commited too (except of course my music stuff which doesn't really count).
So where are all the BIG drawings? The ELABORATE works and PRICELESS paintings? One of three places: 1. They were given to someone as a gift, 2. They were stolen, or 3. I destroyed them with fire.
True story, that's where it all is. The cool part is that I feel like I've been given permission to spend more time on my visual art. I poured out my bead work and started downloading reference images to assist in a drawing for a stage costume I had in mind. I have some sculpting clay and had always wanted to try and make an action figure with it.
I have a little bit of digital work, nothing too fantastic, animation exercises, some of which I could put a bit more work into. That basically breaks my portfolio into about four sections: line/coloured drawings/paintings, sculpture/jewelry, digital work/design/animation, oh and I guess photography.
*sigh* oh photography, how I wish I still had some examples of my photography, or better yet, a camera to work with. Maybe I'll pick up a disposable and snap some shots that demonstrate my ability to evaluate composition.
It should make for an interesting slide show, I could even set some original music in the background, but if they're looking for slides of a 60 hour painting, I have a lot of work to do.
Not that I mind, when I'm working on art I experience a creative flow and can work on it uninterupted for hours. Now that my science degree is behind me I'm almost free to work uninterupted. The only other thing that's eating me up is work! Which I have to get ready for now. GAH!
I'm really really really excited. :-D
Friday, April 30, 2010
Coca-Cola Warmachine
The arbitrary rules of the medium.
Am I the only one who feels as though all my efforts have ever achieved were a) my survival and b) someone else's success? I would like to be successful. If it's true, I'm certainly not alone in being the back someone else has built their reputation on, even if I'm the only one who feels it (though I'm ceratinly not). Ho hum I feel oppressed by mediocrity, I'm not sure I am even able to conjecture an intelligent thesis. My work does not flow, or at least, I need to exert more effort to achieve flow in my work, so following true to my form I'll divert my attention to apples.
I like apples.
This is not a productive area of conversation.
Productive areas of conversation for me..
finding jobs in the music industry with a psych degree and an electronics diploma
new thoughts
I spent so much time playing with Crystal HA! My guitar knows all about it. The gym knows nothing about it and shows very little interest in my personal life any how.
Jeopardizing Privacy
As naturally social as humans are it seems to me as though our progress as a society is hampered by our fear of losing our privacy. In private we are completely anonymous, free to feel, think and do as we see fit without creating any threat to the social acceptance our public image brings us.
I wonder if the conception of an omnipotent God is not the only requirement in developing an individuals sense of morality. If I'm never alone I'll always be concerned with maintaining an image of acceptable behaviours in the eyes of God.
There is no God, no, not in the fundamental sense. The eyes of God are the eyes of onlookers, people who can see the consequence of our actions, even the subtle shame we conceal over the guilty pleasures we've had in secret.
The ideal is to find that unconditional love; a place where what you say, think, and feel is held to your credit. In such a place privacy is unecessary because you feel comfortable being who you are, as unique an individual as that is, in a public setting.
finding jobs in the music industry with a psych degree and an electronics diploma
new thoughts
I spent so much time playing with Crystal HA! My guitar knows all about it. The gym knows nothing about it and shows very little interest in my personal life any how.
Jeopardizing Privacy
As naturally social as humans are it seems to me as though our progress as a society is hampered by our fear of losing our privacy. In private we are completely anonymous, free to feel, think and do as we see fit without creating any threat to the social acceptance our public image brings us.
I wonder if the conception of an omnipotent God is not the only requirement in developing an individuals sense of morality. If I'm never alone I'll always be concerned with maintaining an image of acceptable behaviours in the eyes of God.
There is no God, no, not in the fundamental sense. The eyes of God are the eyes of onlookers, people who can see the consequence of our actions, even the subtle shame we conceal over the guilty pleasures we've had in secret.
The ideal is to find that unconditional love; a place where what you say, think, and feel is held to your credit. In such a place privacy is unecessary because you feel comfortable being who you are, as unique an individual as that is, in a public setting.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Misreadings
There seems to be a standard here in the Moncton Public Library. The city itself grows from the silty roots of its history. As I made my way to the post office on St. George street from the bus terminal, and then on to this library, here, on Main street, I noticed the construction dates set into some of the older brick buildings: the No. 2 fire station, the united church. I was surprised to see a group of individuals gathered around outside the door of the Karing Kitchen, a soup kitchen I had long forgotten, tucked around a quick corner. It jumped out at me. I was unsuspecting. I wove a course where at each cross-road I chose what I felt was the most attractive direction to take.
There's construction on Millenium boulevard. I thought to myself "That is the strategy: to, at a cross-roads, create a superior visual appeal that attracts attention. Traffic will surely follow."
It is an idea.
I've been thinking about this test I'm about to write. How could I not? I've been thinking about the job, and thinking about what my life might be like if I earned a decent living. Fantasizing really. When I came into the library I noticed a guy who had the outline of a star tattooed under his eye. I noticed his style and liked what he was wearing.
I stopped into Artsy et Vintage on my way to the library. I had this idea for a leather with a fur collar. There wasn't a lot of stock in the store, though some of the items looked pretty sharp. The hats she carries caught my eye. It led me to think of belts and sun glasses.
I'll be meeting with Gramma for supper. Hopefully she will be eager to face the challenge of driving in the cold rain.
My assessment begins in an hour.
I've been conceptualizing the content of the test. A general assessment of vocabulary and comprehension, word meanings and parsing semantic content from utterances. Thinking about the job I realised that I had been underestimating the cognitive load it must place on the worker. I had been so focused on keeping two planes from crashing into each other I had overlooked some of the other challenges. First, I had realised that although keeping two planes separated was a feat in itself, there are likely many planes to keep track of. I imagine the most complicated flow of traffic being monitored is between take off and landing. I wonder if controllers don't make course corrections due to inclimate weather. I do enjoy the geometry I picture with my minds eye, arches and spirals. I think the job likely involves the comparison of rates. Acceleration to hundreds of kilometeres per hour, ascension to eleventions of ten of thousands of feet, trajectories, descent, landing, decceleration. All in a days work.
There are a few instances I may consider:
1. Aircraft takes off from some runway n at airport x for duration t to arrive at destination y. The course is described arithmetically.
The same aircraft must land safely.
2. The aircraft lands at a) the same airport or b) a different airport or the aircraft remains in flight.
3. A second aircraft takes off from a) the same airport i. the same runway ii. a different runway b) a different airport.
It might be nice to have something to eat before I'm occupied by the assessment.
Do not underestimate the importance of teamwork. Looking into it I see there are many stations monitoring all of the different aspects of air traffic.
There's construction on Millenium boulevard. I thought to myself "That is the strategy: to, at a cross-roads, create a superior visual appeal that attracts attention. Traffic will surely follow."
It is an idea.
I've been thinking about this test I'm about to write. How could I not? I've been thinking about the job, and thinking about what my life might be like if I earned a decent living. Fantasizing really. When I came into the library I noticed a guy who had the outline of a star tattooed under his eye. I noticed his style and liked what he was wearing.
I stopped into Artsy et Vintage on my way to the library. I had this idea for a leather with a fur collar. There wasn't a lot of stock in the store, though some of the items looked pretty sharp. The hats she carries caught my eye. It led me to think of belts and sun glasses.
I'll be meeting with Gramma for supper. Hopefully she will be eager to face the challenge of driving in the cold rain.
My assessment begins in an hour.
I've been conceptualizing the content of the test. A general assessment of vocabulary and comprehension, word meanings and parsing semantic content from utterances. Thinking about the job I realised that I had been underestimating the cognitive load it must place on the worker. I had been so focused on keeping two planes from crashing into each other I had overlooked some of the other challenges. First, I had realised that although keeping two planes separated was a feat in itself, there are likely many planes to keep track of. I imagine the most complicated flow of traffic being monitored is between take off and landing. I wonder if controllers don't make course corrections due to inclimate weather. I do enjoy the geometry I picture with my minds eye, arches and spirals. I think the job likely involves the comparison of rates. Acceleration to hundreds of kilometeres per hour, ascension to eleventions of ten of thousands of feet, trajectories, descent, landing, decceleration. All in a days work.
There are a few instances I may consider:
1. Aircraft takes off from some runway n at airport x for duration t to arrive at destination y. The course is described arithmetically.
The same aircraft must land safely.
2. The aircraft lands at a) the same airport or b) a different airport or the aircraft remains in flight.
3. A second aircraft takes off from a) the same airport i. the same runway ii. a different runway b) a different airport.
It might be nice to have something to eat before I'm occupied by the assessment.
Do not underestimate the importance of teamwork. Looking into it I see there are many stations monitoring all of the different aspects of air traffic.
At 3am
Smooth Noise
I can listen to that later.
I can listen to that later.
I was playing guitar a little while ago and while I played I was trying to sing. Choosing words to sing is the first step, and I think making an attempt to formulate words is a big step in becoming an expert though I haven't done much research on the subject. The next challenge is to fit the words into the rhythmic structure of the music and to sing them on pitch. The last step is to sing something interesting. I guess the last step ties all of the previous steps in together.
Draft Reversal
How did he write, all those things that he wrote?
Measuring productivity: an operational definition
Comparing the mean between two populations
Changing the mean
Managing Drab
First and second year BSc courses should place emphasis on the scientific method
Reassurance
A few reassuring things happened today, despite waking up with a splitting headache. I talked with Gramma, and Dr. MacLean liked a Zeppelin song I posted. These two things reassure me of some fundamental values I hold dear. I also heard back from a response I sent to an add on Craigslist, this reassured me of a few things: the legitimacy of Craigslist, and also my ability to spot opportunity.
A few things happened today that reassured me of some not so good stuff: playing games and studying for Chemistry mostly. I heard back from another lady who has a place, that was slightly reassuring. I work this weekend, that's kinda reassuring.
Initial Uptake
White Sand
Blue Ocean
Measuring productivity: an operational definition
Comparing the mean between two populations
Changing the mean
Managing Drab
First and second year BSc courses should place emphasis on the scientific method
Reassurance
A few reassuring things happened today, despite waking up with a splitting headache. I talked with Gramma, and Dr. MacLean liked a Zeppelin song I posted. These two things reassure me of some fundamental values I hold dear. I also heard back from a response I sent to an add on Craigslist, this reassured me of a few things: the legitimacy of Craigslist, and also my ability to spot opportunity.
A few things happened today that reassured me of some not so good stuff: playing games and studying for Chemistry mostly. I heard back from another lady who has a place, that was slightly reassuring. I work this weekend, that's kinda reassuring.
Initial Uptake
White Sand
Blue Ocean
Crunch Time
Formating my head space over an hour of accents: 1 accent for every 16 beats at 104 beats per minute
this is how I do chemistry
Venting
What a huge upset. There's nothing worse than having your comfort taken from you.
An unbiased third party
this is how I do chemistry
Venting
What a huge upset. There's nothing worse than having your comfort taken from you.
An unbiased third party
Where am I?
It must be time to shower
It must be time to eat
I am at a cross-roads
AAHH GET ME OUTTA HERE!
It must be time to eat
I am at a cross-roads
AAHH GET ME OUTTA HERE!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Elitism
It hin
The more you blog, the less you
Fishing through corpses afloat on a river, the trident
Inviting men to go hunting, to murder them and take what's theirs
Taking your best friend out fishing, to lose him while you sex his girlfriend of which he is unaware
I have friends I do things with, don't I?
Elitism
Finding people interested in my 'thing'
Doing that thing I do
What is it I do?
Who is it I do it with?
Saturday, April 10, 2010
The More You Blog
Today should be a fun day. I have to finish a paper for tomorrow. It wouldn't be so bad except my lower back is hurting me. I think I'll do some stretches.
Yoga is so important, I need find a way to incorporate it into my daily life.
The mosquitos are awake!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Impressive Feature
I never heard from her again.
Take a break.
Everybody in a bubble.
Groups of people in bubbles.
Tits are so weird.
I am so wired.
There was another.
A Souless Apparition.
Sex and Laughter
Light a Fire by the Roadside
wait and see who stops to listen
skeletons in the closet
Alterior Motives
Hidden Agendas
The Inpenetrable Barrier
An Impregnable fortress
Keep Your Finger on the Pulse
Choosing Icons
These are the folk I'm endebted to impress
Take a break.
Everybody in a bubble.
Groups of people in bubbles.
Tits are so weird.
I am so wired.
There was another.
A Souless Apparition.
Sex and Laughter
Light a Fire by the Roadside
wait and see who stops to listen
skeletons in the closet
Alterior Motives
Hidden Agendas
The Inpenetrable Barrier
An Impregnable fortress
Keep Your Finger on the Pulse
Choosing Icons
These are the folk I'm endebted to impress
Monday, April 5, 2010
Never Heard
The ONLY place to pee!
The bottom of the food chain.
Healthy wealthy and sane!
Ultraviolent
Wolf Knife
Knife Wear
The rainbow connection by Kermit the frog.
Mom and the Cougars
Ahh!! Agh!! What was I thinking!! Great names, titles.
The wear on the blade, cuts made and the razor dulls.
What was I thinking?!
Four titles in the body of a Headline.
That makes two parents I'm satisfied having known. There's no need to elaborate. The mean has reached a significant level of unacceptable treatment. I can see no redeeming quality in our toxic relationship. Goodbye.
The bottom of the food chain.
Healthy wealthy and sane!
Ultraviolent
Wolf Knife
Knife Wear
The rainbow connection by Kermit the frog.
Mom and the Cougars
Ahh!! Agh!! What was I thinking!! Great names, titles.
The wear on the blade, cuts made and the razor dulls.
What was I thinking?!
Four titles in the body of a Headline.
That makes two parents I'm satisfied having known. There's no need to elaborate. The mean has reached a significant level of unacceptable treatment. I can see no redeeming quality in our toxic relationship. Goodbye.
Friday, April 2, 2010
.88mm
What am I looking for? It seems those half moons, nibs, and the rest of the gang are catching up with me.
Redeeming Qualities
Humouring requests: Why not just go through with them? How will the consequences make me feel?
I'm going to go to the library now, and study RDA until the evening.
I bought a coffee.
Could the cure for sadness be humour? Yes, it likely is.
There's nothing cooler than leftover homework.
I killed the battery to my laptop. Some good advice from a friend: add violin and flute.
I can't put 800$ on my VISA this month, not yet anyway. The minimum payment is something like 52$ and is due April 14th. I took out my rent which left me with 577$, more than I had anticipated. I have about 113$ in my CIBC account. What I'll do is put 100$ on the VISA and beef it up if I get a loan cheque.
Nuggets and fries for supper, classic. I've decided to get my graduation photos done, that'll put another 200$ on my VISA (at least). Still, after the 2400$ I dropped on it last month I should be fine. I can't imagine spending that much without a real good reason. I think my budget to date (before the 180$ grocery bill I slammed down last week) was less than 200$. Ha! Nope, I just checked my statement. I've put over 3000$ on it so far this year. I was right about my minimum payment. The due date is April 13th however. Anyway, I'll put 100$ on it from my RBC account right now. If I'm still under 4000$ by the time I'm working full time for the summer I'll be pretty happy. I think that's reasonable, it gives me 1200$ to work with. I put 117.82$ on the VISA, which means I have this month and next month to make June's rent.
Rubber Stamp
Oh yeah, I'm cooking frozen vegetables too. I overcooked them.
Caloused ear drums blistered over.
Always on the outside looing for a way in.
I was going to shoot some web cam video! Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
Redeeming Qualities
Humouring requests: Why not just go through with them? How will the consequences make me feel?
I'm going to go to the library now, and study RDA until the evening.
I bought a coffee.
Could the cure for sadness be humour? Yes, it likely is.
There's nothing cooler than leftover homework.
I killed the battery to my laptop. Some good advice from a friend: add violin and flute.
I can't put 800$ on my VISA this month, not yet anyway. The minimum payment is something like 52$ and is due April 14th. I took out my rent which left me with 577$, more than I had anticipated. I have about 113$ in my CIBC account. What I'll do is put 100$ on the VISA and beef it up if I get a loan cheque.
Nuggets and fries for supper, classic. I've decided to get my graduation photos done, that'll put another 200$ on my VISA (at least). Still, after the 2400$ I dropped on it last month I should be fine. I can't imagine spending that much without a real good reason. I think my budget to date (before the 180$ grocery bill I slammed down last week) was less than 200$. Ha! Nope, I just checked my statement. I've put over 3000$ on it so far this year. I was right about my minimum payment. The due date is April 13th however. Anyway, I'll put 100$ on it from my RBC account right now. If I'm still under 4000$ by the time I'm working full time for the summer I'll be pretty happy. I think that's reasonable, it gives me 1200$ to work with. I put 117.82$ on the VISA, which means I have this month and next month to make June's rent.
Rubber Stamp
Oh yeah, I'm cooking frozen vegetables too. I overcooked them.
Caloused ear drums blistered over.
Always on the outside looing for a way in.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Yar!
There's not a care in the world that could bring my mood down today. 'Fake it 'til you make it', the moto of my life. I'm brought back now to recall the application of emotional intelligence. How will I feel if. I have a number of chores to attend to, it feels as though they take priority over school work. Right now I'm caught up in social conflict trying to find a group I fit in with, that seems very important and blurring the lines between house work, school work and relationships is my MHS transcript which I still need to have sent to NSCAD.
It's not that I'm looking for distraction or a way out, I'm looking for satisafaction, and I'm not sure how, who, or what that means. What I do know is that I want to be satisfied all the time. I want to feel satisfied. I'm not sure if sexual gratification is the solution. Or satiating my appetite, though it is likely they both play a role. I could hypothesize that doing my best to fulfill the needs Maslow outlines with his hierarchy may lead to more feelings of satisfaction. This would make my first goals to be sleep, nourishment, sex, defication, and breathing. Strangely enough, now that I've slept and eaten I'm working on my blog which might be considered to be a manifestation of a higher need. I did a bit of research on graduate schools, possibly as a means to satisfy my security needs, and now blogging which may or may not be an attemp at fulfilling love or esteem needs. What I would really like to uncover are successfull behaviours that lead to the fulfillment of all my needs, basic, security, love, esteem ,and self-actualization. I'll do my best to keep an accurate record of routines I use to satisfy each, and try to come up with improvements. What need, for example, does chore work fulfill?
It's really hard to find a community where I feel I fit in. A group of people who shares the same values I do. It would help if I were able to identify my core values. I'm working on a piss now.
I'm a minute into the score for the next track on the debut album. It's called 'Stack'. I could keep working on it. It's almost supper time now and I haven't done any school work yet today. Though when I started typing this blog update it was with the intention to warm up my psych paper.
Who will wash the dishes when I'm dead?
It's not that I'm looking for distraction or a way out, I'm looking for satisafaction, and I'm not sure how, who, or what that means. What I do know is that I want to be satisfied all the time. I want to feel satisfied. I'm not sure if sexual gratification is the solution. Or satiating my appetite, though it is likely they both play a role. I could hypothesize that doing my best to fulfill the needs Maslow outlines with his hierarchy may lead to more feelings of satisfaction. This would make my first goals to be sleep, nourishment, sex, defication, and breathing. Strangely enough, now that I've slept and eaten I'm working on my blog which might be considered to be a manifestation of a higher need. I did a bit of research on graduate schools, possibly as a means to satisfy my security needs, and now blogging which may or may not be an attemp at fulfilling love or esteem needs. What I would really like to uncover are successfull behaviours that lead to the fulfillment of all my needs, basic, security, love, esteem ,and self-actualization. I'll do my best to keep an accurate record of routines I use to satisfy each, and try to come up with improvements. What need, for example, does chore work fulfill?
It's really hard to find a community where I feel I fit in. A group of people who shares the same values I do. It would help if I were able to identify my core values. I'm working on a piss now.
I'm a minute into the score for the next track on the debut album. It's called 'Stack'. I could keep working on it. It's almost supper time now and I haven't done any school work yet today. Though when I started typing this blog update it was with the intention to warm up my psych paper.
Who will wash the dishes when I'm dead?
Who will clean and fold the sheets I place upon my bed?
Response
Hello darkness my old friend, I have come to you again.
The Sound of Silence
If home is where the heart is, and you're supposed to listen to your heart, if you're heartless, you're homeless
how to tell a friend from a foe
is it just the type I go for or all of them in general?
is there something the matter with my approach?
I haven't had a whole lot of success with the ladies lately
The secret is to be happy being me. Be happy with myself.
Blasted social scene.
Goodbye everybody (but you) goodbye you.
Trust Betrayal and Loyalty
Emotional Intelligence
I should almost be working on a daily affirmation that reminds me of the importance and outcome of emotional intelligence.
Recovering from a breach of trust and betrayal: let your anger out, decide to let go then let go, then a third step.
Aside from my thoughts on interpersonal trust, what I've read on emotional intelligence seems very useful.
It's about self-awareness. Knowing how you feel, and taking responsability for your feelings. It also involes knowing how others feel, and the emotional response you spark in them.
The Sound of Silence
If home is where the heart is, and you're supposed to listen to your heart, if you're heartless, you're homeless
how to tell a friend from a foe
is it just the type I go for or all of them in general?
is there something the matter with my approach?
I haven't had a whole lot of success with the ladies lately
The secret is to be happy being me. Be happy with myself.
Blasted social scene.
Goodbye everybody (but you) goodbye you.
Trust Betrayal and Loyalty
Emotional Intelligence
I should almost be working on a daily affirmation that reminds me of the importance and outcome of emotional intelligence.
Recovering from a breach of trust and betrayal: let your anger out, decide to let go then let go, then a third step.
Aside from my thoughts on interpersonal trust, what I've read on emotional intelligence seems very useful.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Flow
Wow! What a day.
I spent most of today working on scores. I ran out to drop off some labs that were due. This photo is not recent, I think I took it the day before yesterday.
I spent most of today working on scores. I ran out to drop off some labs that were due. This photo is not recent, I think I took it the day before yesterday.Sunday, March 28, 2010
Groceries
It occured to me this morning, after a late night of watching a niteline debate on the future of God between atheist Sam Harris and holistic healer Deepak Chopra (and two other opinions plus the moderator) that I, having formulated an opinion of my own, should rewrite the Bible. Not necessarily the entire Bible, but the sentiment I've gleaned from the time I've spent with religious scripture of all sorts. To me it seems to be a complex social problem.
Now, relevant issues at hand. Music equipment vs. laundry vs. bed making vs. shower vs. grocery shopping vs. eating vs. school work.
I wanna jam!
Woah, I'm surprised by the time.
music equipment vs. bed making vs. eating (but I'm still hungry)
leaves laundry vs. school work 'cause I'm going to do the shower vs. groceries thing right now.
I'd like to play with the tempos Matt suggested in the drum sequencer and study the song forms Travis recommended. I think they were 134, 84, and 112 BPM, the styles were balad, torch, epic, instrumental, and three others, I'll have to check once I'm ready and eager to play.
185 bucks later I'm drinking a Rockstar, putting away groceries and setting up some Cars to listen to while I prepare supper.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Solidarity
Let's roll!
Beat the Kid
One More Winter Alone
Crazy sick, my last schtick.
It appears as though my opportunity to pick up groceries is quickly passing.
Coffee and Chewing gum
An extensive portfolio of projects, hmm..
Facts and Values
TED is quite the resource.
Beat the Kid
One More Winter Alone
Crazy sick, my last schtick.
It appears as though my opportunity to pick up groceries is quickly passing.
Coffee and Chewing gum
An extensive portfolio of projects, hmm..
Facts and Values
Friday, March 26, 2010
Anti-climax
NSCAD in Halifax
McGill in Montreal? Are there others?
There's not much else in Halifax I'm interested in. Montreal has Matt and Travis, which could be great.
What about MIT in Massachussettes? That would be a sweet gig. I should look to see if there are any programs in Montreal that I might be interested in applying to, as well as jobs, I should prepare my resume!!
I'm kinda pumped to hear back from McIntosh labs! They're the guys who built Jerry Garcia's power amplifier!
Chemsitry - I did alright on my midterm!
Research Design and Analysis - I have to get to class tomorrow!
Social Psychology - I have a research proposal to start working on!
NSCAD - I need to call NBCC and MHS to have my transcripts sent.
I need to check my exam schedule to see if it conflicts with the Nav Can assessment.
I need to update my resume and send it off to McIntosh.
I need to look for a place to stay in Halifax.
I need to look for work in Halifax.
I need to look for a program in Montreal.
I need to look for places to stay in Montreal.
I need to look for work in Montreal.
Why fold laundry? That's what I want to know. It should improve my rest and consequently my productivity. That's why I do chores. Productivity is valuable. I should like to finish reviewing the chapter of Research Design and Analysis I'd begun this day. Also, my resume should be prepared.
McGill in Montreal? Are there others?
What about MIT in Massachussettes? That would be a sweet gig. I should look to see if there are any programs in Montreal that I might be interested in applying to, as well as jobs, I should prepare my resume!!
I'm kinda pumped to hear back from McIntosh labs! They're the guys who built Jerry Garcia's power amplifier!
Chemsitry - I did alright on my midterm!
Social Psychology - I have a research proposal to start working on!
NSCAD - I need to call NBCC and MHS to have my transcripts sent.
I need to check my exam schedule to see if it conflicts with the Nav Can assessment.
I need to update my resume and send it off to McIntosh.
I need to look for work in Halifax.
I need to look for a program in Montreal.
I need to look for places to stay in Montreal.
I need to look for work in Montreal.
Why fold laundry? That's what I want to know. It should improve my rest and consequently my productivity. That's why I do chores. Productivity is valuable. I should like to finish reviewing the chapter of Research Design and Analysis I'd begun this day. Also, my resume should be prepared.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Oh What a Night!
I'm trying to feel motivated. I need a goal. Right now I feel like working on my NSCAD application. I filled it out once already.
Otherwise I have some chemistry to work on, always with the chemistry. I know what I'll do. I'll look up Dr. Wallbanks office hours so I can plan to pick up my mid-term. I really have no idea how I'm going to finish last weeks lab. It seems like it's going to take way more effort than its worth.
3:30-4:30
I should eat something, but what? A plate of fries? A bag of chips? Fruits? Vegetables? Ice cream? Cookies? Pretzels? Chicken? Fish? Steak? What!? Sauteed mushrooms would be nice.
One thing at a time. I guess I'm going to go deep fried :\
What about onion rings? Quesedilla? Chicken burger? If I want to have my application submited I'll have to get on it.
Submit application, pick up midterm. What should I eat? Chewing gum? Something chewy, just the right consistency.
Application and MTA transcript deployed. StFX request for transcript deployed. Still to come: call NBCC and MHS re: transcript request.
Let's heat and eat some pasta.
I need music, and to trim my toenails.
Based on our pool of peers. What's next?
Gears of War 2
Will I ever get back on track? Am I off track? Skewed priorities, skewed or shifting.
Otherwise I have some chemistry to work on, always with the chemistry. I know what I'll do. I'll look up Dr. Wallbanks office hours so I can plan to pick up my mid-term. I really have no idea how I'm going to finish last weeks lab. It seems like it's going to take way more effort than its worth.
3:30-4:30
I should eat something, but what? A plate of fries? A bag of chips? Fruits? Vegetables? Ice cream? Cookies? Pretzels? Chicken? Fish? Steak? What!? Sauteed mushrooms would be nice.
One thing at a time. I guess I'm going to go deep fried :\
What about onion rings? Quesedilla? Chicken burger? If I want to have my application submited I'll have to get on it.
Submit application, pick up midterm. What should I eat? Chewing gum? Something chewy, just the right consistency.
Application and MTA transcript deployed. StFX request for transcript deployed. Still to come: call NBCC and MHS re: transcript request.
Let's heat and eat some pasta.
I need music, and to trim my toenails.
Based on our pool of peers. What's next?
Gears of War 2
Art Projects
He'll tear your lungs out Jim!
Rip your guts out.
Ripped guts.
Magnetic tape and electronics.
She lay on her stomach on the bed, he stood behind. Suddenly, in a voice he hadn't heard before, a high whine burst from her mouth, vaguely Japanese, something about 'fuck me'. She glanced back over her shoulder and quickly looked forward again. A mouthful of vomit burped it's way up and out his mouth onto her.
I dreamt I was living further out in the country. I went for a walk. Jake's dad, the landlord, asked me how everything was. I looked back and saw the grass was cut. 'Pretty good" I said. I didn't need any more from him. I received a parcel from Rob, then later from Russell's facebook music profile. He had a stage name that started with an 'A' and some art work that was cleaner than what I had on my page, a page he had left. His page was black. I took the parcel to my room. There was a black leather ten gallon cowboy hat and boots, as well as white dress pants and a coat jacket. There were perfumes and things stuffed in the jackets pockets. The perfumes' glass bottles cracked and spilled on the white jacket, I could smell the cheap samples. I emptied the pockets until the lining started coming out, there was some type of maggot in the pocket. I took off the hat and noticed there was a clump of the tarnished bugs stuffed into its top.
The stereo had been ouside Mom's for a long time, Brent had put it out there. It was becoming night time now. I thought of how the neighbourhood kids must respect me. I turned the stereo up loud and checked the speakers. I was thinking about where to put them. It sound to me like only one of the speakers was working. I rocked the stereo around, and it started coming apart in pieces, the smallest functional unit of which I noticed was smaller than the cassette player I use.
Later on inside, Mike's hanging around with this one 'cool' guy who I'm not sure of, and at least two other guys, maybe Tom and Brian. The cool guy is leading the conversation, I almost take in the scene like I'm on a trip. I'm in a rocker doing something, keeping busy or thinking of something to say while he entertains. It's almost like watching a psychedelic trip, as though the house has been picked up in a tornado of late night tie-dye. Mike doesn't say much. The party starts warming up, maybe people are drinking. The cool guy comes and sits next to me, and lays a scraped banana skin on my lap while he rolls a doobie and talks to me about pitching in on the dope. I balk, a little taken aback. The rest of the party seems to look forward to the drugs, it seems Evan has arrived. Mike mentions something about me being ok with their Saturday night thing, or their weeknight thing which leads me to wonder how long these guys have been coming over to my Mom's house. As long as they're ok with the difference, I'm ok with the difference.
The cool guy leaves the living room. Mike comes over to my side of the room and sits on the floor. He's all buddy buddy and talks about the next six years. I had previously emailed him to see if he was interested in coming to NSCAD. It seemed like he was, I mentioned we'll be able to do projects again. He puts his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way. He says something about experimenting, or alludes to homosexuality. He's put a smile on my face. We share a few words about Jim being conservative. Mike leaves the room. Tom says something about Mike sure loving his bango. I ask him what that is. Tom starts pounding his knees in time while saying 'bang bang bango bang this is what I'm doing'.
For a time I'm checking out the white jaket, it's my old Forever Plaid jacket. It's really terribly tailored but I feel like a rock star in it. I'm also wearing some type of full body piece that's been knit together from gold wool. It's basically falling a part, and I end up pulling it in two. I'm also wearing a black body suit beneath it all, torn at the knees, and possibly a garnet top.
Maybe this will get me up and moving.
Rip your guts out.
Ripped guts.
Magnetic tape and electronics.
She lay on her stomach on the bed, he stood behind. Suddenly, in a voice he hadn't heard before, a high whine burst from her mouth, vaguely Japanese, something about 'fuck me'. She glanced back over her shoulder and quickly looked forward again. A mouthful of vomit burped it's way up and out his mouth onto her.
I dreamt I was living further out in the country. I went for a walk. Jake's dad, the landlord, asked me how everything was. I looked back and saw the grass was cut. 'Pretty good" I said. I didn't need any more from him. I received a parcel from Rob, then later from Russell's facebook music profile. He had a stage name that started with an 'A' and some art work that was cleaner than what I had on my page, a page he had left. His page was black. I took the parcel to my room. There was a black leather ten gallon cowboy hat and boots, as well as white dress pants and a coat jacket. There were perfumes and things stuffed in the jackets pockets. The perfumes' glass bottles cracked and spilled on the white jacket, I could smell the cheap samples. I emptied the pockets until the lining started coming out, there was some type of maggot in the pocket. I took off the hat and noticed there was a clump of the tarnished bugs stuffed into its top.
The stereo had been ouside Mom's for a long time, Brent had put it out there. It was becoming night time now. I thought of how the neighbourhood kids must respect me. I turned the stereo up loud and checked the speakers. I was thinking about where to put them. It sound to me like only one of the speakers was working. I rocked the stereo around, and it started coming apart in pieces, the smallest functional unit of which I noticed was smaller than the cassette player I use.
Later on inside, Mike's hanging around with this one 'cool' guy who I'm not sure of, and at least two other guys, maybe Tom and Brian. The cool guy is leading the conversation, I almost take in the scene like I'm on a trip. I'm in a rocker doing something, keeping busy or thinking of something to say while he entertains. It's almost like watching a psychedelic trip, as though the house has been picked up in a tornado of late night tie-dye. Mike doesn't say much. The party starts warming up, maybe people are drinking. The cool guy comes and sits next to me, and lays a scraped banana skin on my lap while he rolls a doobie and talks to me about pitching in on the dope. I balk, a little taken aback. The rest of the party seems to look forward to the drugs, it seems Evan has arrived. Mike mentions something about me being ok with their Saturday night thing, or their weeknight thing which leads me to wonder how long these guys have been coming over to my Mom's house. As long as they're ok with the difference, I'm ok with the difference.
The cool guy leaves the living room. Mike comes over to my side of the room and sits on the floor. He's all buddy buddy and talks about the next six years. I had previously emailed him to see if he was interested in coming to NSCAD. It seemed like he was, I mentioned we'll be able to do projects again. He puts his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way. He says something about experimenting, or alludes to homosexuality. He's put a smile on my face. We share a few words about Jim being conservative. Mike leaves the room. Tom says something about Mike sure loving his bango. I ask him what that is. Tom starts pounding his knees in time while saying 'bang bang bango bang this is what I'm doing'.
For a time I'm checking out the white jaket, it's my old Forever Plaid jacket. It's really terribly tailored but I feel like a rock star in it. I'm also wearing some type of full body piece that's been knit together from gold wool. It's basically falling a part, and I end up pulling it in two. I'm also wearing a black body suit beneath it all, torn at the knees, and possibly a garnet top.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Every Second, Count It
Squandering and Pandering
One of those wee little Poly Pocket houses, at night.
Writing articles about guitar!
I woke up this morning and took a look around my room. Guitars lying everywhere, mic stand erect. I thought to myself 'what am I doing?' I rolled over and slept through my class.
One of those wee little Poly Pocket houses, at night.
Writing articles about guitar!
Now my laundry is in progress and the dishes are done. I have a lab to submit before 5:30pm, grocery shopping to accomplish, and tomorrow's presentation to finish and prepare for. Oh, and there's my application for NSCAD! What I'm really waiting for is a bowel movement. Breakfast is on. The lightbulb in my desklamp has burnt out.
I'm going to take another crack at this chem lab. Phuck it. I'm ordering pizza.
I got the pizza! It's not all you can eat, but I am ;)
I'm getting there! I wonder how well the presentation will flow tomorrow?
It fucking sucks to be clean. No one else is clean and the rest of the world is filled with hypocrites.I feel like the people who produce PSAs are mocking the innocence of children.
I LOVE staying awake.
Excuse me whlie I sleep for a second.
Monday, March 22, 2010
The small Picture
There's a hole in my heart I patch with hair trimmings.
Let's get through this last article! While listening to some music.
Ok, I've highlit all of the parts I like. Now to summarize, paraphrase, prepare the presentation and slide show! Coffee.. I could tell he'd been somewhere with nearly one dozen other people. I could hear it in the nuance of his voice.
Sitting is hard on the lower back.
What am I doing on facebook? I should be online dating! Ah, how I love harrassing women. Coffee is on.
Let's get through this last article! While listening to some music.
Ok, I've highlit all of the parts I like. Now to summarize, paraphrase, prepare the presentation and slide show! Coffee.. I could tell he'd been somewhere with nearly one dozen other people. I could hear it in the nuance of his voice.
Sitting is hard on the lower back.Let's eat a salad!
Cookies, coffee and more class work? I think so!
Cookies, coffee and more class work? I think so!Scares the $#!+ outta people.
600nm 520–570 nm
The final coffee.
I need to pee, badly. Relieved. After the pee (and some reading).
600nm 520–570 nm
The final coffee.
I need to pee, badly. Relieved. After the pee (and some reading).Oh I was thinking earlier, how I'm not all jizz and farts.
Magnetic impact. I made a funny!
Magnetic impact. I made a funny!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Always On Coffee
Oatmeal Cookies and Eggs
I think I'll apply to NSCAD, and take the assessment with Nav Canada. First, Tuesday's presentation. I feel good about it. Before that, how about a fresh pot of coffee, some music and breakfast. I'll sweep my floor and run my fingers over my guitar.
Defending our ego with what precious few shreds of dignity we have left.
I had thought of something else I wanted to mention. The wireless has been on the fritz. All of this pressure concerning Tuesday has really been great on my guitaring! Supper is on. Let's do chopsticks. It's awesome my roommates are not smokers.
It must be a blonde joke. Mmm, I'm looking forward to lots of water, and some drawing, and a little more loud guitar.
A pretty girl to like me.
Oh yeah!
"I don't fuck for nothing but money." she said.
Take a break (you're doing great!). Can't I just leave it 'til later? He thought. It's only an email. How urgent could it be?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
empty blog post
groceries
chem lab
presentation
Batteries dead, or dying.
What would be easier? Music or visuals?
chem lab
presentation
Batteries dead, or dying.
What would be easier? Music or visuals?
I might have a new jam buddy!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Skipping Classes
I certainly have been skipping classes. God, I want to sound edit right now.
I think what I will do, after I finish setting up to start work on my presentation, is heat up some of yesterday's coffee, start the laundry, groom my beard, do my chem pre lab, and get ready for class. I'll probably eat all the while as well.
Reheat the Coffee, it's as fresh as I am.
That's a little better.
Shave it if you're saving it.
Well now, Gessi's shown me our collaborative work! I sent him some links to posts I found useful.
Dirty, smelly, happy?
Let's watch The Family Guy as we finish our oatmeal shall we?
Back from class. I had a very nice discussion with Mike, Valeska, and Janelle afterward. I wonder if they felt the same?
I'm starting to slow down. I still have thousands of words to analyze before I'm done with this paper. I did finish the introduction.
I want the best life I can possibly imagine.
So much for that one. Some girls.. She's baaack.
I hope I know what I'm talking about by Tuesday. I have to start talking about it!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Creeping on Cougars
I nearly lost last night and yesterday's post! Luckily the draft was complete. After seeing Laura had commented on Jason's post, I turned in for the night. I had a long sleep. I would like to have more time before class but I should be fine. I did lose the work I had started on my presentation, and I forgot about my chemistry quiz.
I got my guitar warmed up! Internet connection is on the fritz. Brewed a pot of coffee. I should really see if I can't improve the stability of my stomp box power source.
Thumbs Outside - drawing
I'm getting carried away. That last drawing session last two songs. I'm frustrated with this wireless internet connection, and this coffee is terrible. I desperately need to get this presentation organized.
Mmm breakfast.. I just lost connectivity. Gessi posted two new models for me to see.
I got some balance transfer cheques!
I missed class and have decided to stay home to work on my presentation. Things that I would also like to do: work on my composition, work on my visual art, work on my guitar. I should reward myself with such behaviour. How much work is resonable to have accomplished before setting out to reward myself? I musn't over reward.
Finish a section, play a track, draw a picture, get back to work?
I got my guitar warmed up! Internet connection is on the fritz. Brewed a pot of coffee. I should really see if I can't improve the stability of my stomp box power source.
Thumbs Outside - drawing
I'm getting carried away. That last drawing session last two songs. I'm frustrated with this wireless internet connection, and this coffee is terrible. I desperately need to get this presentation organized.
One article down. Check out this drawing.
Nearly 9 o'clock. I'm getting cold.
Creeping on Cougars
Let's cool down this laptop..
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